One Line Reviews: Xbox Live Arcade Trial Games: Part One

I'm too cheap to buy the games, so I'll just play the demos to death! At least I can give you a decent opinion of them then.

Age of Booty
A little simple, but awesomely fun strategy-ish game.
Would I be caught dead with it? Yes

Assault Heroes
It's assaulting my eyes and good taste! At least it's doing it heroically.
Would I be caught dead with it? Only if there was nothing better. Unfortunately, there is.

Banjo-Kazooie
A fine example of why Microsoft should never have bought Rare.
Would I be caught dead with it? You need to ask?

Banjo-Tooie
You can never have Tooie much Banjo.
Would I be caught dead with it? See above.

Bomberman Live
He's not quite at his best, but it's still blowing $%@# up, so how can you complain?
Would I be caught dead with it? Sure, why not.

Carcassonne
All the nerdy tile-playing goodness, now without the actual tiles!
Would I be caught dead with it? Yes!

Castlevania: SOTN
Sure, it's supposedly a classic. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Would I be caught dead with it? Not if my life depended on it (which it wouldn't, with me being dead and all).

Catan
WILL SOMEBODY JUST TRADE ME SOME LUMBER?!?!?!?!?!?
Would I be caught dead with it? Sure, you can grab it and my secret stockpile of lumber from my corpse.

Cloning Clyde
Gives me some ideas. Like cloning myself and punching you in the head from four different directions.
Would I be caught dead with it? Not really.

Crystal Defenders
Hint to Square: When porting a mobile phone game to the Xbox, don't make it look, sound, and play like a mobile phone game.
Would I be caught dead with it? Only if I've played 80% of the world's games before I die.