the rantings and ravings of a not quite sane cow

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Slashee Top Ten: Reasons Not To Buy A PS3

#10: You need to have another house built if you want to keep it inside.
(You could always get a circus tent instead.)

#9: If you want to move it, you need to hire Chuck Norris.
(Or if you have a slim model, just a building-sized crane.)

#8: Disc drive loud enough to drown out jumbo jet.
(Yet somehow slower than walking back and forth with each individual bit of data.)

#7: While games are going through their mandatory installation, you have time to make coffee... for the whole neighbourhood.
(And by "coffee" I mean "coffee", those of you with filthy minds.)

#6: Sony cheats you out of features you already paid for whenever they feel like it.
(So why don't they add something like... good games... instead of doing nothing but remove features?)

#5: Processors will eventually link together to form Skynet.
(On the bright side, how many people now can claim their consoles are responsible for a couple of good movies and a couple of crappy ones?)

#4: Most expensive piece of home theater equipment ever.
(Because with the number of games worth playing, fate relegates it to being a Blu-ray player.)

#3: Weight makes it unsuitable as a blunt weapon, except for olympic weightlifters.
(For when boredom sends you into a murderous rage, you'll want something convenient.)

#2: Now worth less per kilogram than dirt.
(Which still makes them worth about $20).

#1: It works.
(Because a console just isn't a console without a RRoD or two.)